Great for hookers and blow. Go crazy

NO FEES! No added fees like cleaning, hosts, extra guests, NO FEES. Taxes of course but I can’t control those. This is a tiny house from a shipping container with lots of upgrades including breakfast, a hot tub, sundeck... If you compare this to a hotel, you’ll hate it. Heat and AC work great! Huge custom fireplace with ample firewood.First tiny house build mainly using materials from around the farm repurposing if possible. Not the Ritz Carlton. Maybe the Ritz of camping. So it’s either a really cool glamping adventure or a kinky getaway. Very discreet.
*-* added a rooftop sundeck.
It’s close to town but in the countryside. All new queen bed, full size fireplace with lots of firewood, and a private new outhouse and new en-suite shower. Oh, and breakfast. %% Breaking news, not only does Victoria have Air Conditioning now, she now has an en-suite shower. Woohoo!

Thanks for booking at Mayton’s Ranch, Victoria. My first tiny house but more to come.

The converted container, which I refer to as Victoria, has come a long way since inception. This is not the Ritz Carlton (don’t tell Victoria) but more like camping with AC, electricity, and instead of a tent on the ground and a rolled up jacket to lay your head on you have a very comfortable queen size bed, a romantic, custom built fireplace and chimney. She is so sturdy she’s already served as an emergency shelter during a recent tornado warning. You have a pristine 8 person hot tub, that’s perfect for 2 at your disposal, and if you are lucky, a nice hot breakfast in the morning. Good luck! Checkout around 11am.

If you would like breakfast, please let me known the night before. I’m not professionally trained but I do make the best damn biscuits in the south (see reviews here and on other listings). Depending on the weather you are welcome to have breakfast outside on the deck or enjoy breakfast in bed. I’ll knock on the door in the morning around 8:30-9:00am. If you don’t request breakfast, I’ll just let you sleep.

Feel free to use the other amenities around the property. Large fire pit (weather permitting), seating deck with gas BBQ grill and ping pong table, and the hot tub of course. Out front are some horseshoe pits and horseshoes that will glow in the dark. I almost forgot, a movie projector is available and an awesome addition for watching anything displayed on the side of Victoria (she’s a big girl at 300” HD). Newly built outhouse with solar tank. Showers available inside your rental now or get crazy and shower in the outhouse like animals.

Decorations are a little abstract inside the rental. I encourage everyone to leave their mark like signing your names, drawing a picture, lots of art supplies and some classic board games to play with. Never been an issue but I assume everyone knows the difference between leaving your mark and vandalism. Go nuts… kinda :) You are free to explore the entire outside property. The back has an outdoor fire pit, duck pond, not yet completed, the rooftop deck, hot tub of course, and large ground level deck with bbq grill. The front yard has horseshoe pits that work well at night since they glow in the dark and a pretty sad garden this year. Not enough time to dedicate to my garden but it won’t take much. This is a bed and breakfast and breakfast is included, at least once per stay. This is not the Hilton and there may be a little dust. Think glamping very comfortably bc you are still kinda outdoors.
My 14 girlfriends do live here as well on the property. They are all well behaved Khaki Campbell ducks. Each just started laying eggs for the first time in early June. Can you try you guess all their names? 12 ex-girlfriends, 1 ex-fiancé, and 1 ex-wife. ❤️
Seriously, everyone is welcome and I work damn hard making sure you’ll feel that way.
Odd tidbit 🤣 and TMI: please keep booking, I love you all, but guys, I’m as straight as heels on Kate Spade stilettos… ok lol. No, I really am straight so you don’t have to book to find out.
I’m honored and love the business but I’d rather say this now rather than get any more 1 star reviews from broken hearts.